


right where you left me

by yelenatasha



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Break Up, Break Up Talk, F/M, Heartache, Heartbreak, I am so sorry for writing this, Post-Break Up, Sad, Sad Ending, Tears, inspired by right where you left me, probably not, will I ever let them be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29261811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yelenatasha/pseuds/yelenatasha
Summary: And at the same restaurant where they confessed their love to each other, where they celebrated all their victories, small and big, Natasha's heart shattered into pieces.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Maria Hill & Natasha Romanov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	right where you left me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ashlearose13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashlearose13/gifts), [archers_and_spies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/archers_and_spies/gifts).



> I haven't wrote in forever so this is probably not my best work but since Miss Taylor Swift decided to put two heartbreaking albums out, I got some inspiration so here we go.
> 
> This is dedicated to Cheree and Ashlea.

It was clear it would happen one day.

She _always_ knew it wouldn't last forever, was almost waiting for the moment everything would crack more and more and ultimately break apart.

The restaurant wasn't what she thought of, though. It was _theirs_ and theirs alone, he brought her there after she was finally allowed to go out a bit after coming to America and from on there, it was their special location for special occasions, moments, victories, _everything_.

He invited her for eating there, as always and she thought nothing bad of it, sure, they fought more often the past couple of weeks but that was normal, at least everyone assumed her that. She didn't knew, she had no feeling for things like that, always anxiously asking Maria if everything would be torn apart now or if she made a mistake. Maria always calmed her and this time wasn't different from all the various times before.

She pinned-up her red locks, putting on of her favorite dresses, casual make-up, a bit of mascara, feeling pretty. Only the best for him, as always. He rang the bell to her apartment at 7, perfectly on time. He looked stunning, classic smoking with the little spider pin she once gifted him for Christmas to match the arrow necklace she always wore.

_"You look beautiful."_

A secret smile on her lips, a small kiss, the drive to New York's best pizza place because the only thing she wanted to try in her first months in America was pizza, getting seated at their table, the one that was always reserved for them, eating and drinking a bit, the best wine all around (at least that was what Natasha was thinking), comfortable silence and a few smiles between them, it had always been like that, she didn't sense anything different this time. Until he cleared he's throat and her blood ran cold. _This was bad._ He never does that. He had never done that with her. Her hand started to shiver around the wine glass, so she put it down, looking at him, anxiously, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what to ask, waiting for an answer, an explanation. Hoping for him laughing at her but in the cute way he often did because it was another joke to lighten up everything a bit.

None of that happened. He just looked at her with those eyes she fell in love all those years ago but they seemed so unbelievably sad and internally she started to panic. This wasn't good. At all.

_"Tasha, I think.. I think we need to talk."_

That's it, she thought. Please no. I can't take this, not here.

"Yeah?" Her voice was a whisper, sounding raspy. She cursed herself for sounding so _weak_ but she couldn't help it, it was Clint after all, who seemed like he had the worst news of all times for her.

"I think it's not working anymore. _Us_."

Silence. Uncomfortable silence. He was waiting for an answer, screaming, crying, her throwing a knife at him, _anything_.

Nothing came back. She looked like she was frozen, eyes wide open, not knowing what to say. Natasha Romanoff was speechless and that was the scariest thing that could happen because first, Natasha was _never_ speechless and second he never included that possibility in his calculations.

"I'm sorry." He almost couldn't hear her. "I'm sorry for not being enough."

His heart shattered. _Of course_. Of course that was the first thing she would've thought of. He mentally punched himself in the face. He could've phrased that so much better. Of course she would take the blame. She always did.

"Nat it's.. Its not your fault, I promise. Or at least not only yours. It's just.. We have chemistry, a lot of it but I'm not sure if what we have here is healthy. If it ever will be healthy. If we weren't doomed from the start."

_I love you_. He wanted to say. _I love you but I'm not sure if we won't break each other into pieces._

She just nodded. It terrified him. She never did that, she had her way with words and she always used them, no matter how she felt inside. Not this time. Silence and no fighting back wasn't her style at all. He knew he just did the worst thing he could do to her but he expected her to react in some way, he wanted her to react. Not for his own benefit, just to be sure she was still there.

He didn't get a reaction. Her body felt like it was disconnected from her, all she heard were his words echoing in the back of her mind, becoming louder and louder. It drowned her. Her sight became blurry and she _hated_ to cry, she never cried but this time she simply didn't care anymore or couldn't bring herself to. He slowly disappeared from her sight and she couldn't tell if it was because of her own tears or if he actually just left her right there. Natasha closed her eyes, trying her hardest to calm herself, opening them again and grabbing her wine glass only for it to shatter in her hand, a mix of wine and blood stains starting to stain the white cloth underneath her. A sob escaped her throat, only a single one, she had it under control again, she could not lose it here.

_Get away from here. Now._ All her senses were screaming at her to run, to hide but she couldn't move. It felt like being frozen, in time and place, with no one to break her out of it. She couldn't see Clint anywhere, she couldn't even sense how much time had passed since everything started to fell like one big blur. A traitorous tear fell down her cheek and with that one came another one and another one and another one. She never thought of being the one left, she always leaves first, this shouldn't have happened.

He met someone. Probably. She didn't know. She didn't want to know. The cheating rumors were always there, had been from the start but none of them both ever believed them, so why should she now? He wasn't the type of person for that. At least that was what she thought to know. She didn't want to know anything else. Anything different. It would break her and not only that but she would not be able to work with him anymore but she had to.

Work was difficult after that evening. It was weird and everyone around them felt that, she was just glad the avengers team wasn't around now. Maria tried to comfort her as best as possible, but Natasha didn't want comfort, Natasha didn't want _anything_ , she just wanted to ignore everything that happened, to work like she always did, with no feelings involved. Which was hard, especially since Clint and her never officially confirmed their relationship but _of course_ everyone knew regardless. The breakup rumors got around and Natasha was good at blocking things out but inside it broke her more and more. She just wanted her other half back. In any way.

The rumors stayed around for a few months but eventually everyone moved on and stopped talking, stopped caring. She still cared. She still was frozen in time, living in delusion.

Laura was introduced to her shortly before SHIELD fell. It was the last Christmas party she would ever have with the organisation and honestly, she didn't even plan on showing up there but she was the Black Widow, she still had a reputation to keep so here she was, drinking already and waiting for anything to happen so she wouldn't die of boredom.

Something of course happened. Not what she wanted, not even close to that, in fact, if she could've chosen she would've died of boredom a thousand times.

Clint came in and with him a woman, around her age, maybe a bit older and she was _pregnant_ , enough months to at least already see the bump. Her heart shattered and she suddenly felt nauseous, making her way to the bathroom before Clint or the woman on his side could get any word out.

It was Maria who got to her in the end, holding her hair as she threw up for the third time in fifteen minutes and sobbing her heart out.

He knew she never could've children. It never was a problem. At least it seemed like that. _Maybe it was one_.

Leaving the party looked like her best option and she didn't know how but she found herself at their old restaurant again. Alone, mascara stains under her eyes and on her cheeks, slowly getting drunk and with a bottle of wine sitting at another table than the one that once was theirs, staring at it, still seeing both of them happily eating there months ago. Her tears started to run down her cheeks again.

She wouldn't cause harm. She would accept it because he still was the person she loved and she had his best interest at heart. She would wait for him and if he ever came back she would welcome him with open arms, but if he didn't she still wouldn't hurt him, or her or any potential children.

Natasha felt defeated. Natasha wanted to go back in time. She wished she would've stayed in Russia, wished he would've killed her there on the spot. But she didn't. And he didn't. She had to live with the consequences now, but she wouldn't cause a scene, she still was the Black Widow, she could handle it. It was only a break-up. Nothing more. Everyone moved on, she would move on, _no problem_.

_She's still at the restaurant_. 


End file.
